


Coming Up for Air

by Redisaid



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Bending, F/F, Fluff, Stream of Consciousness, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redisaid/pseuds/Redisaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asami Sato just became an airbender and she is absolutely terrified.</p><p>A short "what if" take on seasons 3 and 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Up for Air

She is in her office when it happens. She is always in her office anymore. The world goes on around her. Her friends are off trying to figure out how to handle the spirit vines, but she has a company to run, designs to approve and incompetent engineers to fire. When the world is not at stake, she has to be here.

Evening has already settled on the city outside, a warm blanket of blacks and purples. She is looking at plans for a new airplane that are just awful. It would never even get off the ground. That hack Varrick could design a better machine even. Frustrated, she slams her fist into the pile of papers on her desk after finding yet another obvious flaw.

A rush of air carries them up and up. Past her head, past the tops of her bookshelves and filing cabinets. A few hit the ceiling before they glide down softly and litter the entire office. 

Asami shakes her head. The mess is still there. She needs coffee. She needs that dinner she skipped four hours ago. She needs to go to bed. Maybe she is in bed and she's dreaming. She does it again.

A torrent of more papers go flying. Sure she's strong, but not that strong. She does it again. And again. And again. Each time her fist makes contact, a rush of air follows. It's not even possible.

Her phone rings. She knocked it off her desk at least six blasts ago. She gets up and scrambles for it, eager to hear the voice on the other line tell her that this is all a dream.

But no, it's Korra and she can't contain her excitement. Her infectious laugh permeates the phone line. "Asami!" She almost screams. "I've decided what I'm going to do. I'm going to help Tenzin look for more new airbenders!"

The Avatar won't have to look very far. Asami Sato just became an airbender and she is absolutely terrified.

She does what any sensible engineer would do. She nods and smiles her way through Korra's overly excited explanation, saying nothing of her own discovery. She promises her presence and airship and supplies on who knows what else. She stops hearing herself talk. She hangs up and goes back to pounding on her desk. She is up all night experimenting. Air doesn't flow through her movements all of the time, just sometimes. By 3 AM, she can control it. By 6 AM, she can hide it completely. By 8 AM, the mess of papers are neatly back in order on her desk, stamped in red with REJECTED. A pink slip for the engineer that designed them has joined the pile.

No one in her 9 AM meeting knows a thing. She is exhausted and paranoid, but she doesn't let her eyes search the faces of the other executives for any signs that they can tell what happened to her last night. She is still terrified. She is not sure that she wants this, so for now, she hides it.

It's not that she hasn't always dreamed of being a bender, or admired the skills of her friends. She's grown up jealous and felt deprived, but now she's too old to feel that anymore. Her father always told her that she doesn't need bending. She has machines. She was fine with that, content with her life and what skills she could offer. She doesn't want to change anything. Change is a great gaping void that she'd rather not look into, so she chooses to ignore it.

The first time she almost slips, they are on her airship. Its the day that Kai first joins them. Tenzin is talking to him about family and from the way Kai's eyes light up, you would think he is offering him the world. Asami is walking by, watching. She smiles at first, but then thinks about her own father. The smile disappears.

"—and I mean it when I say we are your family. Anything you need, just ask. Don't be afraid to either. This is the foundation that the Air Nation has always been built on and I want to see that continued. We are all family."

Asami could take comfort in those words. She could drown in the familiar deep tones of Tenzin's voice and find some safety there, some relief. She could hold him dear the way she did her own father, when he was younger and kinder and not trying to murder her. She doesn't. She returns instead to the anxiety that had been clutching at her chest for weeks.

It would change everything, she told herself. She wasn't ready to change.

The second time she almost slips, Korra is about to lose everything. Jinora is instructing the new airbenders to conjure a torrent of wind to help the Avatar defeat Zaheer and the poison he's put into her body. Asami watches, feet steady on the solid ground, but her heart is racing and traveling further into her throat with each breath.

She realizes then why it hurts so much. Korra. Goofy, lopsided grinning Korra. Impulsive, brash and foolish Korra. Beautiful, powerful Korra. She is going to die and Asami can't live without her. She can help, though. For once she can do something besides drive them around. She's going to do it. She steps forward to join them, but it's already too late. The airbenders have sent their wind. They have done what they can.

A part of her is relieved, but a larger part scolds herself for her cowardice. When Korra is a broken heap on the ground a short time later, when Suyin is ripping the poison from the Avatar's veins, Asami decides she will never forgive herself. Her anxieties and convictions and inability to accept what has happened to her don't matter. All that matters is that Korra gets better.

Asami doesn't come close to slipping again for years. When Korra leaves Republic City, she pours herself into her work. She forces smiles at formal galas. She shakes the hands of just about ever important person in the city. She slaves over blueprints late at night. She doesn't have time to regret anything and that's exactly what she wants.

When she does feel her stomach sink and her breath grow short, she writes a letter to Korra. She writes mountains of letters. She tells the stricken Avatar everything that's going on with her and tries not to care that she isn't getting any replies. She writes anyway, about new Satomobile models and about winning the infrastructure rebuild contracts. She writes about good restaurants and boring business meetings. She puts everything on paper except her two secrets.

Then one day she does. After signing off on a three page letter to Korra about things that don't matter, she's alone in her office, watching the sun set on the city yet again. She has an extra sheet of paper and the pen is making her fingers itch. She breathes out slowly and then writes down the two things that do matter:

_Korra,_

_I am an airbender and I'm in love with you._

She burns the paper a few minutes later.

Her father's letters are the worst. She stopped reading them after the first few, but just seeing that envelope on her desk fills her with dread. She knows it contains yet another apologetic creed, promises he cannot keep, pleas asking her to remember the good times they had together, pleas to forgive him. All she can think of is the look in his eyes when he tried to kill her. How would it be now, if he could read that confession she had just turned to ash? His daughter, suddenly a bender, but too scared to admit it, and swooning over an Avatar that doesn't even write her back.

The third time she does slip. No one is around to notice, though. When Korra finally replies, she reads the letter over and over. Her face is wet with tears. Alone again in her office, though this time it's morning, she can't think of a reply fast enough. Her hands reach desperately for a pen. They find one, but there's no paper. She doesn't even think. A flick of her fingers sends a few sheets flying from the shelf across the room on a perfect gust of wind. They land right underneath her eager pen.

Asami Sato is actually a pretty good airbender, but don't tell anyone.

When she sees Korra again, her heart melts. The Avatar looks smaller somehow, and it's not just because she cut her hair. Her movements are no longer as powerful or confident, so she seems to take up less space in the world. Asami can barely bring herself to let go of her. They talk and talk over lunch with Mako and Wu. All she can think about is if she could have done anything to stop this, if she could have done anything to keep Korra brave and strong and whole.

But she promised herself. Nothing matters except Korra being better, and she's almost there. There's no need to reveal old secrets. They can wait.

The fourth time, she slips again, and its all over.

They're getting out of her Satomobile and walking to the ferry to Air Temple Island. They're going to Varrick's wedding. Korra—vibrant, stunning, mostly okay now Korra—is crossing the street. Another car comes tearing around the corner. Korra—smiling and laughing Korra—is too busy talking to her to notice. Asami Sato is an airbender and she can't let Korra get run over by a car after all that's happened, after all she's done. She summons a violent wind to push her friend out of the way. The car's tires screech, but the driver doesn't stop. 

But Korra is safe. Korra is on the other side of the street and it's fine and everything is fine.

Except it's not.

"Asami?" 

She's down to one secret now. Asami Sato is an airbender and has no idea what to say for herself. "Are you okay?" she asks.

"Are you?" Korra asks back.

The answer is no, but Asami can't say it. She has spent years forgetting about herself and how she feels and if this whole airbending thing matters at all to her. But Korra's face says everything. She's confused, but there's a light in her eyes. It makes her happy and that's all that matters.

Korra gets up, adjusts and dusts off her formal dress and strides back across the road. She grabs Asami's shaking hand. "I had no idea," she says.

"Neither does anyone else," Asami finally admits. 

"But why? This is amazing! Why wouldn't you tell us?" 

"I just...I don't know. I don't know, Korra. I was fine being the one to drive everyone around and throw money at you. I was fine with that. That was my life and it was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want things to change." Asami realizes she's crying. There is going to be a mess of runny mascara on her cheeks. They're standing there, in gowns, between two parked cars, and she's sobbing, but Korra is still smiling.

"Nothing has to change if you don't want it to," Korra says as she squeezes her hand. She lets go. "Look. Right now, I'm going to pretend you didn't just airbend and save me from being mangled by that car. When you want to talk about it, we can. I owe you that much."

Korra—perfect, understanding, amazing Korra—leads them to the wedding. Nothing changes, except that she smiles at Asami even more. It's just another secret to add to the many they've shared over the years. It's totally fine.

Asami Sato is an airbender, and later that evening, when Korra asks her to go on a vacation with her to the spirit world, just the two of them, she thinks she may know what it feels like to fly.


End file.
